Don't call it a comeback.

o hai.

Remember when I was all, I'm gonna totally actually update this blog?

Yeeeeahhh.

I feel like I'm trying to start a normal conversation with a jilted lover. Not like I have tons of* jilted lovers, but still.
*any

So anyway, I've been busy all summer working and acting and stuff. Meanwhile, if my family was an internet meme, it would come with the message "BREAKING LOOSE-- ALL HELL IS DOING IT." So that's my excuse, I guess. But today my friend Emily and I went to Salvation Army for some retail therapy/treasure hunting. I got cool stuff.

I got a dress and a super warm sweatshirt and I got my dad an Oscar de la Renta tie and my brother a Pokemon cup and a freakin Bottega Veneta bag which I didn't even realize was cool until we googled it.

$5. God I'm a champ.

Relevant to you all, I got some new cake pans, a crank hand mixer, and a really old cookie press/cake decorator. Like, from the 1940's. Neato, right?

Salvo makes the hipster in me come raging out like the hulk.

It wasn't the complete kit, but what it has is in good shape and I'm working on getting the rest online so I can practice decorating. But here's what we've got.

Also the tube isn't in this picture, but it exists.

There are cookie recipes all along the side of the box, so I decided to try a couple and share them with you.

Right off the bat, I decided to divide the recipes by 4 (I'll write them out the way they are on the box.) I have enough experience with a press to know that the recipes make a LOT of cookies, and I was just experimenting. My other issue was that the recipes just said to put the cookies in "a hot oven," so I baked them at 350º and that worked fine.

The first ones I made were caramel cookies.

I LIKE PRETTY THINGS.

Ingredients
2 cups brown sugar
3/4 cups butter
2 beaten eggs
1/2 tsp salt
3 cups all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder

Cream sugar and butter.  Add beaten eggs. Mix rest of ingredients then add. Press through Cookie Maker and bake in hot oven 10 to 12 minutes (or until edges are brown.)


I used this cookie pattern-

hai

Here are the box's instructions for using the press--

Stand Cookie Maker on UNGREASED baking sheet or pan, press down on plunger until dough appears at edge of ring. Raise plunger slightly to break vacuum, lift Cookie Maker directly upward and you have a perfectly formed cookie.

Ok so that is not necessarily true.  If your dough is not too sticky and your tube is pretty full, you will have nice cookies. If not, not so much. The caramel cookie dough worked well. Here's the before--

Dear mom: sorry I am putting your weird cookie sheet on
internet. Also this post means I didn't clean my room yet.

And after--

Nothing too embarrassing yet.

The other recipe was for "Plantation Sour Cream Cookies."

NOMlicopters.

Ingredients:
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup rich sour cream
1/2 cup butter (or shortening)
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 egg
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 cups flour (or enough to prevent it from being sticky)

Cream the butter and sugar and add the sour cream in which the soda has been dissolved.  Beat the egg well and add. Add the vanilla, nutmeg and then the flour. Press through Cookie Maker onto ungreased cookie sheet or pan. Bake in a moderate oven until brown, about 10 minutes.


This dough was a lot stickier. I should have added more flour. Soooo here are the good ones (pre-baking.)

Alright alright.

And here are the bad ones.

Oh.

So I ended up with this--

Yup.

Which was when I decided to try out my new mixer and make some frosting.

I divided this recipe by 8 and ended up adding a bit more sugar to get the right consistency.  I have always been kind of a brat about electric mixers, mostly because I am too lazy to clean them and spoons are easier, but I figured a crank one would be ok.

Oh my god it was so much better than ok. Look at that icing.

Again, pretty things.

It whipped up so fast and nicely. I've been wasting my life. There was love all around, but I never heard it singing, no I never heard it at all, till there was my cool new crank mixer.

My final product?

So much PRETTY.

Overall, these were easy and fast to whip up, tasty, and would be nice to bring to a party if I had friends.

The Blanket's Back.

Hi guys! I'm not dead!

Turns out attempting to study three majors leads to a heavy workload.  I've been crazy busy.  Good news? I'm not going to be pre-med anymore, so I'll have more time after this semester.  Bad news? No idea what I'm doing with my life!

WHOO!

Let's get cooking.

I have some stuff that I've been meaning to blog for awhile, so more posts are coming behind this one.  Today, I'm going to share something beautiful and delicious and also that tells you exactly how the whole 'diet' thing has been going.

Baklava

Oh yeah.

*Note-- one of my male friends actually referred to me as 'phat' a few days ago.  I keep it hella classy.

Ingredients

• 1 (16 ounce) package phyllo dough
• 1 pound chopped nuts
• 1 cup butter
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 cup water
• 1 cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup honey

I was recently in a production of "The Burial at Thebes," which is an adaptation of Antigone.  For those of you who haven't been subjected to classical Greek literature (lucky you!), Antigone is a tragedy written by Sophocles.  After every show, our director has a super nice cast party at his house.  The food always follows a theme related to the play, so I made this to bring for dessert.

I'm so grown up. Ugh. Love it.

For those of you who are afraid of baklava, this is my lazy ass telling you it is easy, and it is worth it.

First, make the syrup.

GAH GROSS

Boil your sugar and water.  When the sugar is melted, put in the honey and vanilla.  I had some local honey from a farmers market, and it gave it a really dark molasses kind of flavor.  So good.  Simmer for 20 minutes.  Stick it in the fridge.

*Another note-- the recipe says to make the syrup while the baklava is cooking.  Don't, especially if it's your first time.  It was a little tricky, and I don't think I would have been able to handle both things going at once.  Also, putting it in the fridge means it will be cool later, which makes the baklava crispier.  At least, according to a commenter.  No clue if that's true.  Did you miss me?

By the way, I made half of everything in this recipe except the syrup.  A lot of commenters said make at least 1.5 times the amount of syrup called for, and I agree.  I didn't use all of mine, but half of it wouldn't have been enough.

OH GEEZ I ALMOST FORGOT PREHEAT YOUR OVEN TO 350º DO IT NOW.

Meanwhile, defrost your phyllo.  Phyllo is a little tricky.  You're supposed to keep it covered with a damp cloth the whole time you are working with it, or it can flake and fall apart a lot.  Or, you can assume you are a speedy enough baklava maker that this rule does not apply to you, especially if you have no paper towels or clean cloths.  Whatever.  It was delicious anyway.

Mix your cinnamon and nuts and set them aside.  Melt all that butter.  ALL that butter.

Put a layer of phyllo in your pan and brush it with butter.  I don't have a food brush, so I went to the dollar store and bought a little paint brush.  Don't worry, I washed it!  It worked really well.

Keep layering phyllo and butter until you have about 8 layers.  Then brush the phyllo with butter and add a thin layer of nuts.  Add two more layers of phyllo/butter then another layer of nuts.  Repeat like this until you get near the top of your pan or run out of nuts, then go back to just phyllo and butter for the last 8ish layers.

If your phyllo kept falling apart and being dumb like mine, just save a few good sheets for the top.  Nobody will notice.  It should end up like this--

That also looks kind of gross.  Don't worry.

Note that you cut the baklava before cooking it.  I don't know what happens if you don't, but I assume it would end in tears.

The recipe said to bake it for 50 minutes.  I made half as much, and it was ready after about 30-35 minutes, so keep an eye on it.  It will be nice and golden and puffed up.

Yum!

IMMEDIATELY get your syrup and pour it over the whole business.  I don't know how this works, but it magically makes the baklava all crunchy and beautiful.  Let it cool in the pan so that the syrup gets all soaked in, then remove it and put it in cupcake wrappers.

It.  Is.  So.  Good.

*Yet another note-- Do not cover it while it's sitting out, because it will get soggy.  I had to cover mine for a little while to protect it from the less-than-classy cast party we had at our apartment the night before, but it definitely lost a little crunch.

I didn't make a ton of it, but I did let myself have a piece the night I made it.  I ate it out of the pan, alone.  Again, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Makin' baklava and not rotatin' pictures,
that's what!

Whatevs.  It tasted mad good.  Do it up, my Little Blankies.

Want to see something I've been working on while I haven't been blogging?  Watch this music video I made in video production class.  Proud'a me!

On a final note, I was visiting family last weekends and saw some of my little cousins I hadn't seen in at least four years (probably. I have no perception of time.)  I was about to get all sad because I am old and they probably wouldn't remember me when one of them said, "Hey!  You're the one from the computer!"

Blanket Blog: Maintaining family bonds since 2010.  Hi Nick and Noah!

More updates soon!  I promise.

First ever video post! Also maybe last ever.

I'm taking a video production class in school, so when my professor gave us an assignment to shoot, I decided to use it as a chance to make a video blog post.

Also, I didn't really follow the assignment at all, but our video is awesome so my professor didn't care.  I did manage to stress out my partner by not doing anything anyone else was doing.  Life is an adventure!

Just a forewarning, it's not all that funny.  We were mostly worried about getting words and video to line up.  Hopefully you still get your fill of my girlish charm.  If not, new entry soon!

Chocolate Chip Scones

I'm seeing Lady Gaga tomorrow night.

It just turned midnight.  I'm seeing Lady Gaga tonight.

I'm excited.

I'm staying with my friend in Buffalo.  I'm also seeing my grandparents and such.

I made treats for them.

Orangey chocolate chip scones

Awww yeah.

INGREDIENTS

• 1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, chilled and cubed
• 1/2 cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips
• 3 tablespoons orange juice

I made a few little deviations.  First of all, I doubled the ingredients.  Second of all, after doubling, I used about 16 tablespoons of orange juice.  The comments recommended it and they taste delicious.

No regrets.

First, mix together the dry stuff.

(dry stuff.)

Then get your butter.  It should be chilled, but kind of soft.  This recipe requires a lot of butter.  I don't even know exactly how much I used.

That much?

Chopping it is also annoying.  But you know what?  Whatever.  Have you ever seen somebody eat a scone and say, "You know what?  This scone is okay, I just wish it were a little less flaky and buttery."

The answer to that riddle is "no."

Suck it up, sunshine.

Sorry.  I'm in a sassy mood.

Anyways, use a big fork to mix the butter in until it looks nice and crumbly.

Incidentally, the recipe also says you can use a "pastry blender."  I realized I was a terrible food blogger when I didn't have any idea what that was.  Like I don't even have the energy to google it, and I use Chrome.  I can just type it in the address bar.

Maybe one day I will own one of those fancy kitchen aids.  When I have a bridal shower, somebody buy me one.  LOL JK bridal showers aren't for people who are gonna grow up to be lonely, crazed spinsters.  I bought pet millipedes this week.

WHOOOOOO!!!

Ah yes.  Biscuit dough.

I was supposed to add the chocolate chips right now, but I wasn't paying attention and went ahead with the orange juice.  16 tablespoons worked nicely.  I just had to knead it a little.

Woah.  I totally took a picture of the dough in the bowl and it is straight up gone.  Like I could pretend I added the chocolate chips at the right time and y'all wouldn't even know.

But that delete key is a prettttty big stretch for my pinky, sooooo....

Mix in your chips.  I didn't have mini, or semisweet.  I used ghiradelli milk chocolate chips.  Again, nobody has ever complained about being served ghiradelli, so I wasn't too concerned.

Because I doubled the recipe, I divided the dough into four balls.  I flattened them into 1/2 inch disks and cut them into 6 pieces each.

Ya that would be 6.

Space them out on greased baking sheets.  They puff, so give them some room.

They look little, but it's ok.

Bake at 400º for 12 minutes, until they are crunchy and golden and delicious.

Yeah, I'm getting pretty awesome at photography.

I haven't gone to Buffalo yet to try them out on my family, but if it's any testament, I got hungry while writing this and ate the one that only had two chips.  It was super delicious.

Cook it and eat it, chillun!

The Emilys have a little Oscar party.

I love the Oscars.

The Academy Awards are a magical night where every celebrity I love looks as beautiful as possible and all crowd together in one big room for me to look at them.  It is also the night when I find out which of my imaginary boyfriends are cheating on me.

Why won't you love me???
Think of our thick-haired children!!!

Anyway, my friend Emily is one of the few people who loves celebrities as much as I do.  Mainly because (if you can remember from the gingerbread house post) we are the same person.

We decided at the last minute to have a little Oscar party, so I made an easy, delicious appetizer.  You can make it too!  All you need is phyllo dough, spinach and artichoke dip, and butter.

BLANKET'S DELICIOUS SPINACH PUFFS!

Cut your phyllo into strips.

Easy enough so far!

Take a single strip and brush each side with melted butter.

Just in case you don't understand brushing.

Put a little lump of dip at the top of the strip, a-like so.

You could even make the dip, if you weren't lazy like me.

Fold the top corner down into a triangle--

Alright, we're getting complicated here.  Slow down.

Then keep folding it down until you just have a little triangular puff.

Woah!

It takes a little while, but then you end up with this.  I garnished them with a little parmesan.

Oooh la la!

I brought the baking sheet to Emily's house, where I cooked it at 375º until they were golden brown.  It took about 5 minutes, but keep an eye on them.

Now that looks fancier than it is!

Emily also had an extra home-made ice cream cake she had made for her daughter's birthday, and she made punch.  Another easy recipe--


EMILY'S TASTY CREAMSICLE PUNCH

A bottle of ginger ale

Vanilla ice cream

A can of orange juice concentrate

Something else I'm forgetting.  Maybe.  Emily, help!


Emily's husband had to go get us ginger ale, because we discovered that her children had drunk just about all the ginger ale she had.  She was thrilled.

Clearly.

Altogether, we had a classy little spread and a nice oscar party.

We ate it all.  Whatever.

The night's biggest upset?  Andrew Garfield not confessing his undying love for me.  Or James Franco.  Or Matt Damon.

BUT WHATEVER I DON'T EVEN CARE.

Let's get twisted.

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile.  I don't really have an excuse.  Lazy?  Let's go with lazy.

I went home a couple of weeks ago with no intentions of cooking.  Everything about this post was my mother's idea.  Hi Mama!

I don't remember who mentioned hot pretzels, but it was definitely Mom's idea to actually try to make one. Then she got all excited because I found an Auntie Anne's copycat recipe.  Then she made fun of me because Operation: BBB probably shouldn't include butter-and-sugar-coated pretzels.

Haters gonna hate.

Here's the recipe.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups warm water

1 1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast (1 pkg.)
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
1 cup bread flour
3 cups flour
2 more cups warm water
2 tablespoons baking soda
coarse salt
2 -4 tablespoons butter (melted)

Our biggest diversion from the recipe was using mostly wheat flour.  Mom keeps this huge flour container that at this point is probably 80% wheat and 20% all-purpose.  Using wheat gave the pretzels a nice flavor and a heartier texture.  I approved.  

We used instant yeast.  Combine it with the warm water and brown sugar, let it sit for a bit, and then add the salt.

Tasty!

My mother was completely immature during this process.  Ridiculous, frankly.  While I added the flour to the yeast mixture, she took pictures like this--

I do love Darren Criss...

She said we had to document the whole experience, including watching clips of my future husband talk to Ellen Degeneres.  I'm sorry, Darren, baby.  She just doesn't understand.

His eyebrows are just so perfect.

After you add the flour, knead it until it's smooth, cover it with plastic wrap and put it aside to rise.  We turned the oven on to preheat (450º) and set the bowl on top of it to keep warm.

What?  No pictures of kneading?  But...
how will we know you kneaded?

After about half an hour, the dough should puff up nicely.  Fill up your time while you wait.  I video chatted with my friends in Italy while my mother, of course, took a picture.

They even had to pose.  Honestly.

Make a bath in a shallow pan with the other warm water and the baking soda and have a greased baking sheet ready.  The recipe says it makes 4 pretzels, but those would be huge.  We made 11 smaller ones.

When the dough has risen, twist it into the shape you like.  We went classic.

AGAIN WITH THE CAMERA.

Once you've made your shape, dunk the pretzel in the baking soda bath and put it on your baking sheet.  Give them a little room to puff up.

I'm so proud of my twisting skills.

Now, you'd think that while you let the pretzels bake (about 10 minutes), there wouldn't be anything to photograph.  You aren't my mom.  The dogs entered the kitchen.

Hi.

Hi!

HI!

When the pretzels are done, they should look lovely and brown, like this...

Nice!

And this...

I've been practicing hand modeling.

You can just use salt on them (a lot of comments recommended adding salt before cooking) or do what we did, and completely slather them with butter, cinnamon, and sugar.

We made the right choice.

By the way, these didn't end up messing with my diet at all.  In fact, I lost 4 pounds that week!  I also got the worst stomach bug I've had in ten years the day after I made these, but who knows?  Could have been the pretzels!

NOTE: I do not support bulemia as a diet plan.  At all.  Puking is gross and I hate it.  You're looking skinny, eat something.